


I'm dying (but you can't see it)

by Startherebel



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Anorexia, Anxiety, Depression, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Post-Weirdmageddon, References to Depression, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-08 04:31:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15235392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Startherebel/pseuds/Startherebel
Summary: Set two years after weirdmaggedon.In the middle of the night, Mabel catches Dipper cutting himself.Dipper discovers Mabel about to commit suicide that same night.Ariel Pines discovers both of her babies dying on the inside.





	1. Chapter 1

If someone asked Dipper Pines if he would have ever cut himself on purpose back when he was twelve or even a little older, he would have laughed at the and told them that they were crazy. He would never cut himself. 

Then again, he would have never imagined that he would have also battled an all-powerful dream demon from another dimension and won.

But now, as he stood in the bathroom in front of the mirror, with a makeshift blade in his hand, he couldn’t remember the time when he was happy and didn’t want to cut every time that something went wrong in his life.

It was a scary thought to Dipper when he had first begun, scared out of his mind at putting that blade to his skin. But now, it seemed like the only answer to the Pines boy.

He was just over fifteen now, he should be drawing things with pencils, not with razors. Of course, that was how life was treating him, so that was how it had to be.

He didn’t know many other people who did cut or were depressed, but he knew he was.

Dipper missed the old Dipper, the happy Dipper that got excited when Ghost Harassers was on.

Now, he couldn’t even look at his sister, out of the fear that she would be able to see through him to see what he did in the middle of the night when everyone was asleep. (or at least, supposed to be)

Of course, tonight was no different. He had got out of bed once he was sure that no one was up any more and headed to the bathroom.

Dipper didn’t bother locking the door, the young Pines boy was sure that everyone was asleep.

Of course, Dipper didn’t want Mabel to find out about this, it would break her heart. He could only watch as she made plenty of friends at school, whilst he was left in the shadows, an empty shell of what he once was.

The teenager looked like a mess, his hair was sticking out everywhere and his eyes had bags around them thanks to his insomnia and the nightmares that he witnessed when he actually managed to get to sleep.

Dipper almost hissed when his makeshift knife pierced his skin, but didn’t pull it out again. The knife was made out of hot glue, pop sticks and two sharpener blades that he had taken from a sharpener that he had accidently broken.

It did hurt at first, but then came the relief when he couldn’t feel the voice in his head telling him to die and that he didn’t matter to anyone, because all his mind could focus on was the searing pain in his arm where he had cut into it.

Blood started to poor out of the cut and so Dipper grabbed the black cloth that he had stolen off of his parents that they didn’t even like, so they hadn’t noticed it’s disappearance. Dipper also grabbed the bandages that he had bought with his own money that he managed to earn, (his parents had let Mabel and him get a job) so that they wouldn’t get suspicious when the ones in the cupboard went missing.

The Pines boy wrapped them around his arm, pulling his sleeve down a little so the bandages were out of sight. He grabbed his makeshift blade once again and moved to cut himself once again, not noticing the door creeping open slowly.

Dipper heard the door almost slam shut and looked up to see his sister standing there, her face full of shock and terror, her eyes fixed on Dipper’s arm, where he had cut into with the blade.

“M-M-Mabel? W-what are y-you doing-g in h-here?” Dipper stuttered, to shocked that his sister had caught him performing self-harm to talk properly.

Mabel just started to stutter random words, not able to form them properly. She was shocked at what her brother was doing to himself.

Dipper’s eyes wandered down to Mabel’s hands. In one of them she held a piece of paper that Dipper could see some writing or a drawing on. In the other, there was one of their mother’s largest kitchen knives.

Dipper’s eyes also widened in shock over what his sister had planned to do tonight.

Both twins just stood there, looking at each at each other without even moving a muscle. Dipper just stood there with the blade in his arm, and Mabel just stood there with the knife and possible suicide note in her hand.

Neither heard the sound of feet running on the wooden floor boards of their house, and didn’t notice it until their mother, Ariel, was standing at the doorway.

“What are you two doing up at this time of…..” Ariel didn’t finish her sentence, having noticed the knife in Mabel’s hand and the many cuts that littered Dipper’s arms.

She gasped and started to move away from the door.

“Living room, now. We need to have a family discussion.” She said and moved to go get their father, Alex.

Mabel cast a look at Dipper before moving down the stairs towards their living room.

Dipper pulled down the sleeves of his shirt and put his sweater that his sister had made him back on. He could already hear his dad getting out of bed to follow his mother out to the living room.

Dipper sighed as he sat down on the couch. His sister sat opposite of him, and his parents sat diagonal of them on the larger couch.  

“Why were you up?” Alex asked turning to his two children.

Mabel cried a little, before wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her night time sweater.

“I, I planned, to, to go away tonight, forever, so that, that I couldn’t h-hurt any, anybody anymore…” Mabel said, her grip on the piece of paper that she still held in her hand tightening.

The younger Pines was full on crying by now, looking from her parents to her brother, who had also began to cry.

Alex turned to face Dipper, wanting his answer.

“I, I was cutting myself, b-because it helps me and now I-I’m addicted t-to it and I-I can’t s-stop…” Dipper told his parents, not wanting to look up his parents, who the Pines boy knew were only trying to help you.

Ariel looked at Dipper with a sympathetic look in her eyes. She didn’t know what is what like to go through what the twin were going through, but she wanted to support and help her children.

“Why were you cutting Dipper?” Ariel asked her son softly and the youngest Pines looked up at her. he avoided her gaze, not wanting her to see into his eyes and see the pain that he was feeling.

“Because, it makes me feel better, like it could solve all of my problems, I know that it won’t do that but I just want to feel better and I hate this and there is a voice in my head and sometimes I just can’t help it and then everything comes out and I have to cut and then….I have to hide and then they all tease me even more because of what I wear and that makes me want to cut even more…”

Dipper look up at his parents once more, not wanting to tell them all of the other reasons that he was like this.

Most of it was because of Bill, who had changed both pairs of Pines twins for the worst.

Mabel was lucky, she hadn’t live through what Dipper had thanks to being in that bubble a majority of the time, and Stan had stayed in the Mystery Shack for most of the week that Weirdmaggendon had been happening, and Ford had been trapped in a golden statue.

The things that Dipper had seen had made him question everything and just want to die. They had given him nightmares that he still had to this very day, tearing the young boy up inside.

Dipper knew that he probably had multiple mental illnesses, such as depression and anxiety, and (thanks to school, even though he pretended that he wasn’t at all bothered by it) possibly anorexia.

Most of Dipper’s school and home life problems had been caused by Bill, which had led to even more problems for the teenager.

“What can we do to help?” Ariel asked, breaking the silence between the family of four.

“Nothing, unless you want to lock me up in a psych ward until I am better,” Dipper replied, not looking up from his hands.

Ariel sighed. She just wanted to help her poor baby, who seemed to be in so much pain at this current moment.

“Mabel, you know that you mean so much to me and none of this is your fault, I couldn’t live with myself if you died or I lost you, you know that, right?” Dipper said, turning to his sister who had gone quiet, occasionally sniffling.

Mabel looked up, tears in her eyes. She just wanted to make sure that she couldn’t hurt her brother anymore. And death seemed a good way to do just that.

“Dipper, I know that you think that it cracked in my backpack, but I need to get this off my chest. I know that you are going to hate me so, so much after I tell you this, but I really need to get it off my chest. I made a deal with him, I gave it to him in return for a little more summer. That is why I was in that bubble, not because I was near it and Bill decided to punish me, okay?” Mabel said, standing up and looking at her brother, who also stood up.

The youngest Pines looked over at his sister with wide eyes, shocked at what she had said.

“Mabel, I forgive you. We were thirteen, we fucked up, okay? There is nothing I can do about it now and hating you would be pointless, okay? I don’t care, you are my sister.”

Mabel looked at Dipper, before rushing over to hug him tightly. The young girl didn’t want to have her brother hate her when she had told him, but she needed to finally get it off of her chest. It had felt so good when she had, and even now, when she knew that her brother didn’t hate her for it, it made her feel so appreciated and happy.

Ariel and Alex, however, had no idea what was going and decided to assume that this was something that had happened over their summer break that they had spent with their great uncle, or great _uncles_ as both twins had told them that they had two great uncles.

Alex walked over to where the twins were hugging it out and put his arms around the two of them. Ariel did the same, and Dipper and Mabel welcomed them into the hug, happy that they wanted to share it with them.

“Kids, look. I don’t know what happened on that summer, but I just want you two to know that we are here for you and you can tell us anything and I promise that we will only want to help you with it, not be angry or hurt you even further. Dipper, and Mabel, if you cut too, then I want you to do a little technique that I got taught at my asylum for me, okay?”

Dipper looked at Mabel, his eyes still slightly puffy from all of the crying that they had done. Both of the twins smiled slightly and nodded their heads at each other, before nodding their heads at their mother, who looked very happy with her children’s choice.

“I want you two to, whenever you feel the need to cut yourself, draw a little butterfly on your arm in the area that you want to cut. The rules are that you can’t rub it off, you have to let it come off naturally. If you cut before it has rubbed off, then you have killed your butterfly. If you have multiple, then it kills them all, okay? Do you think that you could do that for me?”

Dipper and Mabel looked at each other and then back up at their parents, before nodding their heads.

“Okay, come on, we should all go back to bed. We can discuss this further in the morning, okay?” Ariel said and Dipper and Mabel gave each other a quick wink and raced up the stairs to their rooms.

Dipper lay in his bed, awake for a little while, before managing to actually go to sleep, and this time, it was a sleep with happy dreams that he hadn’t experienced in a while.

Life was actually looking good for the teenager, for the first time in almost over two years.

Bill was gone, he couldn’t hurt Dipper or Mabel ever again.  At least, that was what Dipper thought. Reality was much, much different.


	2. Chapter 2

**For the record, I have no idea about how the American school system works.**

 

Dipper Pines stood at the entrance to the Psychologist’s office. The young male knew that his parents had asked him to do this for them, it was just one, but he needed to see the Psychologist.

After last weekend, they had decided that even with the butterfly project, the youngest Pines would still need a little bit of extra help, just to be able to stay on track and not throw everything off of the rails.

Said rails included the events of last weekend and the suggested options of getting better failing because of the youngest Pines’ recently diagnosed depression, anxiety and several other things that Dipper couldn’t remember at that current moment in time.

After they had had a large discussion and all gone back to bed, the Pines family had decided to take the twins to an actual, professional Psychologist, who had (attempted to) talked to the about their current situation.

Mabel wasn’t so good with it, but Dipper had really, really want to get better, having hated that he was so depressed and anxious. It really, really did suck being depressed.

Of course, his sister had just run off to her friends, pretending that he didn’t even exist. She had been doing that  quite a lot, especially now with her boyfriend Connor.

Dipper could still remember sitting in the assembly room, listening to the principal read out that they had lost Zoe Lalor, Connor’s sister, to a suicide.

Mabel and her friends had immediately signed up to make the ‘Zoe project,’ to remember Zoe, so that Mabel could get closer to Connor. The female Pines twin definitely had a crush on him.

Dipper knocked on the door, taking his black and blue headphones off.

A whispered “come in” came from inside the room, compelling Dipper to enter. The youngest Pines was a little worried, if he was going to admit it to himself.

“Hello Mason, how are you today?” A young, blond man sitting across from Dipper asked.

He was thin, tall and a little bit lanky, his golden blond hair standing out about him. The man had bright blue eyes and wore a stereotypical psychologist’s outfit, just a little more formal, however.

Behind him was a desk with a computer, a couple of pens and a name plank that said Llib Rehpic.

“Ah, hey? Fine, I guess...” Dipper said, his usual monotone voice making a point to show itself. The Pines boy didn’t move from his position either, his feet shifting ever so slightly to try and find a more comfortable.

“My name is Mr Rehpic, and I’ll be doing the psychology at your school from now on. Would you like to take a seat?” Mr Rehpic gestured at an empty seat, before moving to sit down himself.

Dipper moved to sit down himself, never taking his eyes off of the fully grown man before him. The young boy had an odd feeling about him, but wasn’t quite sure if it was a good feeling or a bad one.

“So, your parents didn’t specify why you were here, they just told the school that you need some extra help because of something that you don’t really want to share. That is what I am here for. I hope that you will be able to help me help you. I know that you might not want to share with me what is going on, but do you want to get better?”

Dipper nodded his head, still not taking his glance off of the older male before him. To the young Pines, it didn’t really matter who he told, it was more about who actually believed him. Dipper wasn’t so sure that even a psychiatrist would believe him.

Then again, he just might.

“Well, if you want to get better, then you will have to trust me. Trust me, I can help you. Unless, that is, that you don’t want to get better….” Mr Rehpic finished, his slightly high pitched voice becoming lower as the seriousness in it showed through.

Dipper stared at the man, still trying to figure out what he thought was different about him. The man seemed to have a silver tongue, and his word choice was a little akin to Bill’s…..

_No, Bill is dead. He is gone…._

“I feel like I know you…..” Dipper said, his eyes growing larger when he realized that he had said that out loud. Now he knew what Soos felt like when he wanted to undo what he had done.

Mr Rehpic’s eyes turned to face Dipper, as if he thought that he knew he to. “Mason, I don’t think that we have met before.” The man said, his eyes seemingly gleaming in the light. The older male had stood up by now, and had started to walk over to his desk, which resided in the corner.

“You can call me Dipper. Everyone does.” Dipper said, watching as the psychologist suddenly froze and turned around.

His eyes seemed to stare straight into Dipper’s very soul, just like Bill’s glaze had.

Not for the first time, and definitely not the last, Dipper felt terrified just looking into someone’s eyes.

He tended to avoid doing so, not wanting them to feel what he was going through. Dipper honestly didn’t like it when people tried to maintain eye contact with him.

Without any warning what so ever, Dipper grabbed his bag, which he had placed on the floor next to him, and stood up in a fast motion to walk out of the room, not paying attention to the man staring at him with an interested and surprised look on his face.

_I’m in Piedmont….._

­----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dipper sighed as he walked to class. He had the books that he needed for his class, plus the diary that he kept.

Before he had trigonometry, he had homeroom, which meant that he could sit up the back and draw his heart out.

His mother had also suggested the use of a diary for both children, and Dipper had actually found it more useful than Mabel had. The first couple of pages were filled with over the top detailed drawings of some of the more terrifying moments of Weirdmaggendon, particularly then end part when he and Mabel had both almost died at the hands of that monstrous demon.

_Cipher….._

Dipper sighed as he turned his attention back to the book. Right now he was working on a picture of the last (well, second last) form that Dipper had seen him take, every single detailed nailed down to the last little line.

Dipper did know about how shading worked, and used it to his advantage to make a red colour. The drawing did look a lot like the real thing, that even at fifteen, Dipper could remember like he just saw it.

Most of that was because, whenever he did get to sleep, the form haunted him like a dog would haunt a chicken after it killed a fellow hen.

Homeroom went fast (to fast for Dipper’s likings,) leaving the Pines boy to have to sit through almost an hour of Trigonometry.

It was almost near the end when something hit Dipper, that made him realize what he felt was wrong with the psychologist.

_Llib is just Bill backwards….and Rehpic is Cipher backwards……_

“DIPPER PINES!” The teacher, Mrs Cameron, shouted at the startled boy.

Dipper looked towards the front, his teacher seemingly fuming with rage. She took a deep breath in, before pointing to the door.

It was only then that Dipper realized that she had been calling him several times before she had actually shouted at him.

The reason that she had shouted the youngest Pines’ name was because (unfortunately for Dipper) Mr Rehpic was standing in the doorway.

Dipper (reluctantly) got up, grabbed his stuff and followed the older male out of the classroom. His heart had started to race inside of his chest, beating a tattoo against it.

If one were to ask Dipper, he would have said that he hated the silence between the two humans, but was also grateful for it. It meant that he didn’t have to talk to the man that was possibly the one that had ruined his entire life.

Thankfully (or unfortunately,) it wasn’t that far from the trigonometry room to the psychologist’s office.

Mr Rehpic held the door open for Dipper, who, despite all of the fear enveloping in his heart, managed to walk in.

The older man walked in as well, sitting back down on the chair that he had been sitting in the last time that Dipper had seen him.

Dipper remained standing beside the second chair, still ready to run for the door, should he need to.

“Dipper, I want to help you get better, okay? I know that-” the older man began, before being cut off from what he was saying by Dipper.

“Well, guess what? I don’t want to be helped, you can’t help me anyway! Why would I trust you, when I can’t even trust my own _twin_ sister?” The Pines boy tried to keep his anger under control, even though most of it was directed at the man sitting in front of him.

The older male seemed to search Dipper, before his eyes finally landed on something that seemed to interest him; the Pines boy’s diary/journal thing.

“Look, kid. I’m just trying to do what I am here for. If you don’t want to tell me, then you can just write it down in your diary, okay?” Mr Rehpic said, his voice almost soothing to the seething boy in front of him.

“That isn’t what I use it for. I use it for _art._ ” Dipper said, putting some infuse on the ‘art.’

“Well, would you mind showing me some of your art? I’d love to see it~” Mr Rehpic said.

Dipper looked at the man, finally  looking into the older man’s diamond blue eyes. Mocha brown eyes stared into diamond blue ones, shaking Dipper up ever so slightly with the fear that he was feeling.

Dipper dug through his nails into his palms, the need to cut coming back. It sucked having this feeling at school, when he didn’t have his hand made knife. Then again, he did promise Ariel with the butterfly thing.

The youngest Pines reluctantly gave the man before him the black book, gently placing it on the table.

The older male picked it up, gently flicking to the first page, a drawing of Gravity Falls, based off a photo that Soos had sent him. The drawing had taken him a couple of days to complete, and it was more as a gift for the chubby man that had supplied him with the photo.

The second page, from what Dipper could remember, was a drawing of all of his friends back in Gravity Falls from a photo that Mabel had given him a little while ago.

The third was just a bunch of photos that he had found in his draws and were small enough to fit in.

The forth drawing was the one that he was more worried about Mr Rehpic seeing. Even if he wasn’t Bill, then he would probably still be shocked at the fact that Dipper could come up with such a thing.

That page was the one that he lingered on the most, before seeing the next page, that was empty, and handing the book back to Dipper, who gently held it.

“Where does your inspiration come from?”

Dipper looked up from where he had been staring at his lap, thankful for the silence to finally have ended.

“A place where I went for the summer. Most of those are just recreations of photos that a friend sent me, or that my sister gave me.”

Dipper didn’t really like the look on the older man’s face, it said that he knew what was going on.

_Well, that confirms it. You shouldn’t have given him that book._

“Why did your parents ask you to see a psychologist?” Mr Rehpic asked, his voice laced with unwanted curiosity.

Dipper really didn’t want to tell the possible demon before him why he was here, but he knew that he wasn’t going to get out of this any time soon if he didn’t.

“Because….because mum found Mabel with a knife and suicide note, and me with a knife. It didn’t take her long to piece together what happened, especially when that knife that you have is being dug into your arm…”

 

 

_The adults are powerless….._

_They can’t help us……_

_Nobody can help us……_

_We are alone in the ocean……._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What have I done!?!? Warning for triggers….

 

The rest of the day went by pretty fast, without much trouble. A couple of the girls that had been in Dipper’s class had just teased him about being taken out of class, but it was nothing that he hadn’t had to deal with already.

Dipper tried to ignore his parents and his sister when he got home, not wanting to face them about what had happened with the psychiatrist.

The male Pines twin just went straight up to his room, dropping his bag off at the door and ignoring his parents when they asked how his day had been.

The youngest Pines dropped onto his bed, curling up into a feral position that he would probably regret later.

Tears started streaming down Dipper’s cheeks, landing in his jeans, causing them to become wet and slightly uncomfortable to lay in.

Dipper heard his sister coming up the stairs to get him. The youngest Pines grabbed his head phones and turned in the music so that it was as loud as possible. Dipper really didn’t want to face anybody right now.

Thankfully, his sister seemed to get the message, and left him alone for the majority of the evening. She was just being respectful of his private space.

“Dipper, mum and dad want you downstairs, there is someone that is here to see you,” Mabel said, her voice carrying through her brother’s room.

Dipper sighed. He didn’t want to go downstairs and see anyone, even his own parents. Unfortunately, Mabel didn’t go away, even when Dipper remained defiant about coming out.

The Pines boy gently pulled on a flannel shirt that was hanging on his doorknob, having removed the other one that he had been wearing.

He followed his older sister down the stairs, nervous as to who was here. Half way down climbing the stairs, Dipper heard voices. Two of them belonged to his parents, whilst the other belonged to the man that Dipper defenatly didn’t want to see right now.

Dipper sighed once again. His wasn’t something that he wanted to do right now. He definitely didn’t even want to see that person….

Deciding that he wasn’t going to put up with whatever he had to do after this, is wasn’t worth anything that his parents could give him.

Dipper pushed passed his sister, who cried out for him to come back. Dipper didn’t want to see even Mabel. Mabel watched him go up the stairs, not even bothering to chase after him.

She had learned a long time ago that she shouldn’t mess with Dipper when he was like this. She just watched him go up the stairs, not bothering to even tell their parents.

Dipper started to clean up his room, putting some posters up that made him feel a little better, not much but still. He organised most of his stuff, before the youngest Pines heard a knock on his door.

_Probably mum or Mabel wondering where I am…_

Dipper stared at the door for a while, before muttering a small “Come in,” and turning back to organise his stuff, still sitting on the floor.

Behind him, Dipper could hear the door opening and someone stepping inside. The person didn’t seem to address him, being seemingly content on just standing there.

“Your parents are stupid.”

Dipper turned around, facing face to face with the man that he hated. His golden blond hair and blues eyes seemed to sparkle.

“What do you want?” Dipper asked, his brown eyes staring straight into the man’s electric blue eyes that looked not quite human.

“I know that you know who I am, so stop pretending like you don’t,” Bill said, confirming Dipper’s suspicions.

Dipper shook his head slightly, turning around fully to face the demon turned human, who had sat down directly in front of him, almost as if he was being protective over Dipper.

“I honestly have no idea what the hell you are talking about,” Dipper said as he began to move back. Without warning, Bill grabbed his arm and started pulling the younger male towards him.

Dipper yelped slightly and tried to pull out of Bill’s iron grip. The male demon smiled, his grin lining from ear to ear.

“What the hell do you want?” Dipper shouted, still trying to get Bill off of him. By now the Pines boy was terrified, not knowing what was going on.

“I think you know that kid……I am presuming that you don’t know that your parents and sister are out of the house?” Bill said, terrifying the already hysteric teen.

Bill attempted to grab the Pines boy and pull him into a position that he couldn’t get out of. Dipper tried with all his might to get out of the former demon’s grasp, without any success.

Dipper tried to calm down as Bill managed to take hold of him. The young Pines was clearly terrified and refusing to face the demon, who seemed overly please that he had managed to subdue Dipper.

Dipper was, by now, practically sitting in Bill’s lap, their shared body warmth scaring the teen even further than he already was.

“Let me go!” Dipper shouted as he continued trying to break Bill’s grasp on him. Bill seemed to have an iron grasp and it made it harder for Dipper to do anything.

“Why should I? Come on kid, give me one good reason why I should!” Bill replied, his voice lacing with glee. The otherworldly demon seemed to be enjoying himself immensely, with no care for the teen sitting in his lap.

With one sudden motion, Dipper managed to break free and run to the opposite window. He stood his ground, not wanting Bill to be able to hurt him in any way.

“Go, away,” Dipper gritted his teeth in anger as he watched Bill slowly standing up and slowly walking towards him, as if he was trying to drive Dipper to the point if madness (hell, he probably was.)

The young Pines boy attempted to rush past Bill when he get too close for Dipper liking, only to be swung up into the air and turned around so that Bill could pin his arms to his side, leaving the teenager immobile.

Dipper tried to calm down, the situation feeling a little….overwhelming. The Pines teenager had no idea what to do, and like Bill had said, there was no one there here that could help him.

Dipper attempted to step on one of Bill’s feet, anything that would get the Pines teen out of the demon’s grasp. Dipper was more than just scared now.

This was the demon, that, with one simple deal, had ruined his life completely. Dipper knew that he had to be careful, so that he didn’t go insane or something.

Bill let out a chuckle and pinned Dipper to the door. He took a hold of the teen’s chin, tilting it up to inspect him.

Dipper struggled against Bill, not liking the way that the demon touched him. It was nice and soft, but there was no true warmth behind it, and the demon only held dark thought towards the teen and his whole family.

“You know who I am, sapling. You know who I am, so say it, say it!” Bill said, his tone of voice rising in irritation.

Dipper attempted to kick Bill away, without any success. The Pines teen knew that he couldn’t fight the older male, no matter how hard he tried.

“Bill….” Dipper whisper quietly, so quietly that the otherworldly demon could barely even hear it. He smiled.

Dipper had started to calm down now, because of emotional and physical exhaustion. The teenager really didn’t want to admit what was happening to him, or that he knew about Bill.

Speaking of the demon, Bill had a large grin on his face, watching as Dipper, who had just about no energy left, gently press his head against the demon’s chest, having no energy to even attempt to catch himself.

Bill wrapped his arms around Dipper, pulling the younger male into his embrace. Dipper was very tired, and had no will or want to fight Bill.

Bill smiled and ruffled Dipper’s hair slightly, still smiling. The demon seemed overly pleased with himself, thanks to having subdued dipper in such a little amount of time.

The younger male whimpered in pain when Bill pulled his hair a little bit too hard, causing Bill to pet his hair gently.

One of Bill’s hands was slunk around the Pines teenager, gently petting his hair, whilst the other gently caressed the side of the tired teenager’s face.

The male demon smiled at the teen, whose face had started to blur up, not only because of the annoying glasses that he was wearing* but also because of the tears that had started to well up in his eyes.

Dipper pulled back slightly, just so that he could take off his glasses so that they wouldn’t get crystals from his crying.

Bill resumed caressing his cheek, smiling insanely at the teenager standing in front of him. The teenager didn’t seem to notice, or chose not to notice, Bill smile.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, Dipper. Can we talk?” Mabel asked when she finally got home. She and her parents had been out whilst Dipper had stayed home.

Whilst they had been out, Mabel had mentally decided that when she got home she was going to have a serious conversation with her brother.

Dipper needed help, and even though he had started to get some from that ‘Mr Rehpic,’ (who Mabel didn’t trust in the slightest) she had decided that Dipper would still need a lot more help than what he had right now.

Mabel was snapped out of her thought by Dipper talking to her.

“Yeah, sure. I’m not doing anything right now, so we can talk now if you want..”

Mabel wasn’t sure if it was just her, but Dipper seemed sadder and more depressed than he was before.

Mabel gently grabbed her brother’s hand, leading him out of his room, down the stairs and onto the couch.

Without Dipper noticing, she held her thumbs up to her parents, who snuck back up the stairs once again.

“What do you want to talk about?” Dipper asked, his voice cracking slightly. Mabel could see some salt crystals on his glasses, the kind that told her that he had been crying.

“Well…..after the weekend, we never really got the chance to talk, and I thought that we could now. I’m really sorry dipper, for everything that I’ve done to you and anybody else….. I was going to commit suicide because I want you to be happy, and you can’t be happy with me around..” Mabel began, tears welling up in her eyes.

She didn’t want to cry in front of her little brother, she was supposed to be the strong one after all! It just proved how week she was…

“Mabel, I’d die myself if you left me. We are siblings, we are going to fight and do stupid stuff, but that is part of the learning experience. I can’t hate you…I just can’t okay? It is like separation anxiety, well it is…but I can’t live with myself if you ever died because you wanted me to be happy….. ” Dipper said, tears welling up in his eyes.

For the second time that day, Dipper took off his glasses to prevent crystallization.

Mabel sat, just looking at him. She wasn’t sure what to say, so she didn’t. both of the Pines twins just sat next to each other, in complete silence, for the next almost twenty minutes.

Mabel could hear her parents coming down the stairs, and looked up at them. they gave her a quick thumbs up, causing the Pines teen to smile.

She grabbed her brother’s hand, pulling him onto his feet and leading him up the stairs. She had a surprise to show her brother, and she was determined to make sure that he was in the dark about most of it.

“I know that you know that I have to go to Europe for that school friendship program, so I talked it out with mum and dad whilst we were out, and we got you a present!” Mabel said, cheering slightly.

She seemed very happy with herself as she opened the door. Dipper’s room had mostly remained the same, though there was now a semi large fish tank in the corner.

Inside of the fish tank was what you would typically find in a stereotypical fish tank, just minus the actual fish. Instead of fish, there was a large creamy white creature.

It had orange gills on the side of it’s head, and dipper recognised it to be an Axolotl. The young Pines boy stared at his sister for a while, not wanting to accept what she had just done for him.

Neither of their parents had ever let them get a pet, even when they had begged them and gotten just about ready to do anything to get a pet.

Mabel gently hugged Dipper, happy that he was happy. So long as he was happy, she could be happy.

“Mabel….”

Mabel smiled at Dipper and pulled her arms around him, she could tell that he was happy. In his own Dipper way.

“I love you,” Mabel whispered in her brother’s ear.

 

“I love you too……”

 

\----------------------------------------------------

Mabel, as it turned out, had also gotten a little fish that she felt was absolutely adorable (it was courteous of Dipper, who had begged his parents to get her one and that he would look after it when she was away,)

Of course, Mabel being Mabel, she had named it Fluffy. So now they had Axle the Axolotl and Fluffy the fish.

When the twin’s parents had heard about their name choices, they had given a laugh and small comment on how Mabel and Dipper the names were.

Dipper had gotten used to just staring at the Axolotl for long periods of time whenever he was bored, as taking up drawing at his mother’s request.

Since it was still the weekend, Dipper was just lounging around, doing nothing all day except occasionally eat, stare at Axle and draw.

His parents had both asked how the time that they had gone out with Mabel had been (and the time that Dipper had spent with Bill, unfortunately,) and Dipper had said it was fine, refusing to go into any detail about what had happened.

If he was completely honest with himself, Dipper wondered why the demon was here and if he should tell anyone. Mabel, of course, being his twin, was the first to know.

“WHAT!?!? DIPPER, WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME ABOUT THIS BEFORE?” Mabel screeched at her brother, angry at what he had just told her.

She was more than just a little mad, she was practically seething in rage. Her eyes seemed to just about have literal flames in them.

The twins parents were now out, having gone to a work ball thing for the twin’s father. Dipper had decided to take the opportunity to tell his sister about Bill.

She was very mad that he had decided to tell her now, but also glad that he was able to tell her in the first place.

Suddenly, the phone rang. Mabel, still glancing at Dipper with fire in her eyes, rushed over to pick it up and answer it, thinking that it was just their parents.

“Hello, this is Mabel Pines, what can I do for you?......oh…..oh…..oh my….I’ll…I’ll tell him. Thank you,” Mabel said, tears welling up in her eyes.

“Mabel, what was that all about?” Dipper asked, watching as Mabel came closer, the older twin collapsing in her brother’s arms, who was quick to catch her.

He hugged her, gently holding her in his arms as she cried into his arms. She looked very upset, not even able to speak.

“Mum and dad….mum and dad had a car crash…and neither of them made it out alive…oh Dipper…what will happen to us…..I am so sorry…” Mabel said, her crying continuing even more as she spilled the words from her lips.

Tears spilled from Dipper’s eyes, unable to even stop crying. He was so depressed already, this couldn’t be happening.

First Ford and Stan, and then his parents. Next would be his sister, he bet. Dipper could still remember when his parents had received a call from Ford.

It was to say that Stan had died from an accident where he had jumped off the side of the boat for some reason, scream Bill’s name, so Dipper had bet that it was Bill’s fault, and then the next day Ford himself had committed suicide.

Dipper stared back at his sister, who nodded at him. It was time. They had to do this, there was no point in staying alive any more. Not even their friends back in Gravity Falls, who had stopped even making any contact with them, could help them anymore.

Dipper slowly climbed up the stairs, looking around his old house at what he was leaving behind. The Pines boy was more than just sad, but he knew that it was for the greater good.

Dipper fetched some paper, a couple of pencils and an eraser just in case, before the youngest Pines walked back down the stairs.

Mabel stood in the kitchen. In one of her hands was a knife, and a longer knife was in the other hand.

“Are you ready?” Mabel asked, watching as her brother wrote some things on the piece of paper, not that it would matter. The police would know what had happened the minute that they got here.

Mabel handed over the larger knife to dipper, who gladly took it. They almost hear the sirens blaring as the police came to prevent them from suicide. But they were too late.

Dipper felt the knife penetrate his skin, digging into the arteries beneath. Next to him, the teenager could hear Mabel collapsing. 

The Pines teen could hear the police entering the house as he finally gave his last breath, whispering the name of his sister.

Not even death could separate the Pines twins.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry Dipper and Mabel…I just couldn’t continue this story any longer :( anyway, this is the last chapter, so thank you for sticking around!

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for a friend, and represents some of my own (past and present) troubles.


End file.
